by Lisa Catania, LCSW
When I first meet a new client, I often reflect on how brave they are to make the step into the therapist office.
Some people come into therapy because they see it as a spa-like experience. They sink into the chair and enjoy expressing, exploring, feeling heard and finding a new perspective. However, most people come into therapy because they are in a place of crisis, often pain, and therapy is their last resort. To let yourself be vulnerable with a stranger is hard, but overcoming stigma can make it even harder.
Many comment that they thought of seeking help sooner, but saw therapy as a sign of weakness, failure, or lack of faith. Often they see themselves as failing since they have not been able to solve whatever the issue is on their own. People also comment that they fear that after they start talking, that the therapist will assign them multiple diagnoses, and they will feel worse than when they came in! Add to this, many of us have heard disparaging or dismissive comments about emotional concerns throughout our lives, such as: "What's wrong with you?!! You must be nuts!" or "just let it go, you're being a downer". And some of us have seen less than reassuring TV depictions of therapy, like the Simpsons' episode where they go for family therapy and have buttons to electric shock each other (funny? well, yes.... but realistic? no!!).
I always see a strength and a fortitude in the person who walks over that threshold of fear and humility. It takes a hidden strength to ask for help and to allow yourself to be vulnerable. Asking for help is the first step in a journey that desires and invites change for the better.
What I find is that when clients find a therapist whom they can trust, feel comfortable with, and feel a sense of hope in the therapist's expertise, that they transform into that client that sinks into the chair, opens up and begins to see the possibilities of how they can change.
Peace, Lisa
