Will Governor Quinn’s New Legislation Eliminate Bullying?

By Lisa Catania, LCSW

Printed in The Villager, August 2014

 Children experience bullying every day.  Consider this scenario:  Some child steps into the power role of name-calling, gossiping, physical threat or aggression, or getting peers’ attention by doing something-rude-and-daring-under-the-teacher’s-nose…  Another child gets targeted because someone has perceived him/her a target that can be dominated or diminished – a good subject for the age-old game of bullying.  Other children watch and observe the dynamics, studying how to avoid the game or perhaps how to join in and benefit from the illusion of power/importance.  Guaranteed, this “game” (that happened when you and I were children) is being played out anew in the neighborhood school, the backyard, and definitely in cyber-space.

Though bullying is commonly thought of as a “rite of passage” of “kids being kids” and a way of “toughening up”, it is actually a form of social violence that has real and often permanent consequences.  Children who are bullied have increased risk for depression, anxiety, health concerns, and a decrease in academic achievement.  Children who bully are more likely to have ongoing problems with abuse of others, abuse drugs and alcohol, drop out of school, and have criminal convictions.  Witnesses or bystanders of bullying can struggle with depression and anxiety, school attendance and be at increased risk for drug and alcohol abuse.  Bottom line, kids who are left alone with these dynamics struggle with feeling safe with others, and internalize distress.

Unfortunately, bullying is still under-recognized and poorly addressed at a societal level.  A teacher in a suburban school district tells me that she has seen bullying in every school she has taught in; and that she has yet to see a comprehensive dedicated approach to deal with bullying in any school system.  She sees that teachers often do not have significant training, administrative support, nor the time to deal with complex social and interpersonal issues that originate outside classroom environment but somehow become another responsibility in their already overloaded set of expectations.  I believe that our neighborhood schools, though often well intentioned, face the same constraints and often drop the ball in addressing bullying in the school community.

On June 26^th, 2014, Governor Quinn signed legislation to strengthen anti-bullying laws in Illinois. Effective immediately, the current legislation requires public, charter and “non-public and non-sectarian” schools to implement anti-bullying policy that: provides a definition of bullying; outlines procedures of reporting (including means to report bullying anonymously), investigating, and responding to bullying; includes parent notification; outlines interventions; describes means of posting and distributing the school’s policy; and reports data on bullying to the ISBE. This legislation was the result of a task force’s findings that Illinois previous anti-bullying law lacked adequate definition, policy and reporting directives.  Illinois still lacks a model policy program, and leaves policy development to individual schools/school districts.

Might this law be the solution to transform educational settings and make them bully-proof?  Unfortunately, I don’t think this law, in concert with previous laws, will make a tremendous difference.  It seems to lack funding and a model program, and leaves schools subject to the commitment and resources in already stressed systems.  The truth is that bullying exists because we, as a society, permit it and perpetuate it.  It takes a community to change bullying.  It takes students and parents who, in the face of bullying situations, are willing to speak up and insist on change.  It takes bystanders who will become “up-standers” – individuals who will offer to help and will commit to action, and who will refuse to give up.  It will take teachers who continue to go above and beyond to commit themselves to truly understanding bullying dynamics and to find daily social emotional learning opportunities to guide their students.  It takes administrators who are visionaries and leaders that will commit to a comprehensive anti-bullying program such as Olweus Bullying Prevention Program, and who will oversee daily efforts for years to create a healthier, safer social and emotional school environments.  It takes children and adults who are committed to become more tolerant, respectful and compassionate towards themselves and others. Change is possible if we hold ourselves and each other compassionately responsible.

For more information on the dynamic and effects of bullying, links to state law and effective anti-bullying programs, and local resources of support from Bully Free Beverly – please visit us at: http://beverlytherapists.com/bully.htm and via our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/BullyFreeBeverly.  More details will be posted when available.  We will provide a workshop on Bullying for interested parents and educators in September.

 

  For additional help, please feel free to call one of the therapists on the Bully Free Beverly team: Lisa Catania, LCSW 773-719-1751, Jennifer Lara, LCPC 773-251-8016, or Michelle Wood, LCSW 773-307-8365.

Let’s Spread Kindness in Beverly

By Lisa Catania, LCSW
Printed in The Villager, February 2014

Have you ever observed the power of an unexpected act of kindness?  The power you feel in yourself when you put a kind thought quickly into action and surprise someone with help or a small gift?  Or, the happiness you feel when you take the time to care for someone in a thoughtful way?  And the delight you feel when someone treats you kindly with no expectation of return?  It’s like magic, and creates a special feel-good feeling that feels like warmth, safety, love, luck.

I remember the time my car hit a monster pothole, busting my tire and forcing me to pull over in an unfamiliar neighborhood.  A kind gentleman appeared from his house, and dealt with the freezing cold weather to help me – in return he expected and wanted nothing.  The gift he gave me was more than a securely attached spare tire, he reminded me that people are kind and that I am not alone and unseen in a moment when I felt vulnerable.

There have been other times I have felt vulnerable and have wondered if the world is a safe place, especially when the Sandy Hook tragedy happened last winter.  I found solace in the invitation by a NBC News Correspondent, Ann Curry, to commit “26 acts of kindness” to honor the loss of the all the children and teachers.  What a wonderful proposition to help people feel power in doing something positive and develop a sense of communal healing.  I donated money for orphans in India to be provided with formula – it truly helped me to be a part of “something good”.

The best way to fight hatred, pain, fear and hurt is to act to create a world that reinforces the opposite:  kindness in action.  Kindness also creates community when we see ourselves in other people and offer help when it’s needed or acts of kindness when they are least expected.

Last February I discovered “Random Acts of Kindness week”.  I purchased a bunch of Dunkin Donuts gift cards and gave them to each of Clissold’s crossing guards and thanked them for showing up like postal carriers – through rain and shine and snow and below zero temperatures.  Smiles abounded!

For Random Acts of Kindness week this year (February 10-16^th), Beverly Therapists and Bully Free Beverly invite you to join us in spreading random acts of kindness in our neighborhood.  Surprise someone by paying for their cup of coffee, or dusting the snow off their car, or giving someone in a bus shelter a prepaid fare card, or writing an anonymous note of encouragement, or simply giving a stranger a rose and wishing them a good day…. You can visit www.randomactsofkindness.org for inspirational stories and wonderful inspiration.

To hopefully overwhelm our community with kindness we are printing up “random acts of kindness cards” and will ask local businesses to make them available on their countertops.  We are hoping you can commit some kind acts and give one of these cards to continue the cycle of kindness!  Please let us know what you have given or received: post on our Facebook page: www.facebook.com/beverly.therapy; tweet us @bev_therapists; #kindnessinbeverly; or leave me a voicemail at 773-719-1751 and I’ll spread the word for you!   We are hoping that the cards and acts of kindness will continue to show up in random places for months to come as all the good hearts in our neighborhood will continue to circulate acts of kindness for each other.