Saturday, September 28, 2013

Letter to Teachers about "I am an Upstander" activity

by Lisa Catania, LCSW

Here is a letter we have sent to area schools with the hope that schools/classrooms will participate in our Bully Free Beverly - Bully Prevention Month activity:  "I AM AN UPSTANDER".  Please direct your child's classroom teacher to our website, blog and facebook for resources to participate in this project.


"September 25, 2013
Dear School Administrators, Teachers and Staff,

We are writing you today to ask you to join us in a community wide initiative to boost social and personal awareness about bullying and to promote a positive culture of kindness, compassion, and action in its’ place.  We know you are already working in this capacity, and hope that we can support each other.
 
October is National Bullying Prevention Month, and the beginning of a new school year.  We felt this is a perfect time to create some community momentum to be proactive about bullying issues. 
 
Most bullying happens in environments that are outside of adult supervision, and most commonly, in cyberspace arenas of Twitter, Facebook, texting, and other new-upcoming-cyber-environments-that –we-adults-know-nothing-about.  We want to address bullying at these roots where the “bystanders” can be empowered to stop, help, tell, and support immediately when incidents are happening.  In the last few years a new term has emerged to label the bystanders who can help and rescue: “UPSTANDERS”.  According to Laura Hampton from EdNews Parent: “An upstander is a person who goes against the tide and will protect a victim from injustice.  The word is contrasted with bystander, which describes a person who does nothing to help when someone is being mistreated.  In the case of bullying this doesn’t necessarily mean a child needs to “take on the bully” in order to be an upstander.  There are other ways students can stand up for their peers who are being bullied, such as telling a teacher or parent or reaching out in friendship to the victim.”

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a common term and vision to address bullying issues between schools and in the broader community?

Our vision is for conversations about bullying - and a positive, empowered way – to happen simultaneously in classrooms and homes throughout our community.  Here’s how:  We have enclosed a simple activity to be completed at the classroom level:  create a picture under the title:  “I AM AN UPSTANDER”.  The picture can be the child’s or teen’s idea about how s/he can or has stood up in the face of wrong-doing (particularly in power-imbalanced, aggressive interactions which are the core interaction of bullying).  S/he could add at the bottom, “BULLY FREE ZONE”. 

Around this activity, you can have conversations about:
·         the dynamics of bullying;
·         what it means to be an “upstander”;
·         why can upstanding be daring?;
·         what kind of rules can your classroom have to prevent bullying?;
·         how might you notice and award upstanding behavior? (great activity – make a post-it tree and when there is a reported act of kindness, compassion, or bravery - note that with a post it comment on your tree)

To support you in this activity, we have enclosed resources in this packet/email.  (see next post for these resources)  We have included some good primers on bullying and upstanding, and web-based resources for classroom aids.  Please access our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/BullyFreeBeverly or our webpage at www.BeverlyTherapists.com for more information and easy access to quality resources.

After you complete this activity, please hang the children’s posters around the school.  Please send the pictures home with the child with the enclosed note from us attached to it; ask your students to discuss the project with their family, hang the poster in their home or in a window, and to connect to our Facebook page for ongoing ideas and support.  We hope parents and children will choose to submit their child’s artwork to us.  Our vision is to create posters to hang around the community – in store windows, at the local library, at local parks.  We also would love to post children’s images daily on our Facebook page.

 We hope to have an ongoing relationship with you.  Please let us know how we can support you. Feel free to contact any of us for more information.  Please let us know about any successes or other projects you are doing to battle bullying or promote upstanding.  We will keep you informed of any other community incentives we have developed.

Thank you for your consideration, and hopefully your participation!

With gratitude and peace,
The Bully Free Beverly Team @ Beverly Therapists

Lisa Catania, LCSW            Jennifer Lara, LCPC                  Michelle Wood, LCSW
773-719-1751                      773-251-8016                           773-307-8365"

 

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Resources/links to educate about bullying and UPSTANDING

Resources for Classroom activity: "I AM AN UPSTANDER"
Please visit our Bully Free Beverly Facebook page (we have only been posting since 9/2013 – please scroll through our history for videos, articles, links to valuable informative and positive resources):
https://www.facebook.com/BullyFreeBeverly

UPSTANDING “Bully Bust”

UPSTANDING From “The Bully Project”  http://www.thebullyproject.com/ 
UPSTANDING & ACTIVITY AID
BULLYING BASICS
 
ACTIVITY AIDS

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Bully Free Beverly Initiative: ‘I Am an Upstander’




By Lisa Catania, LCSW

What has been your experience with bullying?  Do you have memories of it from the past?  Do you see it someplace in your life today?

Many people think of bullying as physical threats, harassment and even physical provoking and beating.  Bullying is also about gossiping, excluding others, judgment and social punishment. Betrayal of trust, such as someone sharing communications or texts without approval, especially in a mocking or vindictive way is another form of bullying.

There are many ways an individual can feel hurt in social situations.  The experience of inflicting pain by lauding power in insensitive and hurtful ways is at the core of bullying.  Put simply, bullying is the physical, social and/or emotional way someone exerts power over another individual, usually causing pain and fear.

The classic bullying dynamic includes the target or victim (usually an individual who has been isolated), the perpetrators (an individual or group), and the bystanders (individuals who are aware of wrongdoing but who are scared to or don’t know how to intervene). 

Recently, a new term has been coined by bully prevention advocates:  “the upstander.” 

“An upstander is a person who goes against the tide and will protect a victim from injustice,” said Taura Hampton from EdNews Parent. “The word is contrasted with bystander, which describes a person who does nothing to help when someone is being mistreated.  In the case of bullying this doesn’t necessarily mean a child needs to ‘take on the bully’ in order to be an upstander.  There are other ways students can stand up for their peers who are being bullied, such as telling a teacher or parent, or reaching out in friendship to the victim.”

Emphasis on the “upstander” has the potential to significantly disrupt bullying dynamics.  The vast majority of children or individuals who are bystanders actually have sympathy for the victim and will report knowing that the bullying is wrong, however they often don’t act out of fear of retribution.  When individuals become empowered to “stand up” they shift the culture that allows injustices.  Upstanders challenge the culture of fear and dominance.  When upstanding becomes the societal norm (or when many people are willing to confront bullying behavior and support the victim),
bullying will lose its tragic vise-grip.  

A team of therapists from Beverly Therapists has renewed The Blossom Boys’ initiative, “Bully Free Beverly.” The intention is to educate the community about bullying dynamics and to provide a support network for anyone affected by bullying.  October is National Bullying Prevention Month, and Beverly Therapists invites community children and teens to submit artwork to promote “upstanding.” Upstanding includes themes like “kindness is cool,” “cultivating compassion” and “20 seconds of courage.” 

Artwork will be used to create posters and banners to hang in the community to spread the idea of “upstanding.” “I AM AN UPSTANDER” will frame the top of posters, and “BULLY FREE ZONE” will frame the bottom. Please submit your images and words on white paper, and please leave some blank space on the top and bottom.  We are eager to see the originality, inspirational wisdom, and gentle strength that is out there in our community!

 Artwork should be submitted by Oct. 31 to Lisa Catania, Beverly Therapists, 10725 South Western, 2nd Floor or sent as a .pdf, .ai, .psd or .jpeg to Beverly-therapists@comcast.net .  For more information on upstanding and artwork submissions, and to be part of the “Bully Free Beverly” community, visit us at the “Bully Free Beverly” facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/BullyFreeBeverly.

Contact anyone one of us if you have questions,

BULLY FREE BEVERLY TEAM
Lisa Catania, LCSW  773.719.1751
Jennifer Lara, LCPC  773.251.8016
Michelle Wood, LCSW  773.307.8365

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Gratitude for a Full Life

By: Jennifer Lara, LCPC

 
"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life." ~ Melody Beattie.

Gratitude creates awareness and appreciation for what we consider good, essential, nourishing and enriching in our lives.  It is a concept often talked about yet, not often practiced. Since young we are told saying "thank you" shows appreciation to the external world.  We tend to leave gratitude in the public space not realizing its powerful effect when included in the personal space moments of solitude when we feel connected with appreciation of things in our lives.  Studies show that a regular gratitude practice can increase our levels of happiness, energy, positive outlook, and overall well-being.

Gratitude can change perception effortlessly. Consider a moment when you are confronted by a boring task, such as washing the dishes.  Witness how your experience can change when you frame the event with a sense of gratitude: I am grateful for the meditative quiet time in this task. Being thankful for experiences, people, and things allows us to be present in that moment. In times where life takes a sharp turn for the unexpected, gratitude can help ground us.  When the world seems heavy and uninviting, gratitude can help refocus us to what we do have present in our lives.  When worry or doubt arise, focusing on aspects we are grateful for helps quell the anxiety.  When stress begins to overwhelm, taking a few minutes to express gratitude creates a sense of control. Cultivating gratitude enhances experiences, relationships, and positive emotions.

How to begin incorporating and practicing gratitude? Here are some ideas:

  Start a gratitude journal and write down at least three things each day

  Create a daily habit of reciting a gratitude prayer

  Translate negative events with gratitude; see these as opportunities for change and growth

  Express gratitude to both strangers and friends alike

  Include gratitude in meditation routine

  Establish a family gratitude ritual

  Notice "small" everyday things to appreciate

   Volunteer and give back