By Lisa Catania, LCSW
Anxiety is one of the primary reasons individuals come to
counseling. Everyone deals with anxiety in some capacity. For some it is an infrequent experience, and
for others it is a lifelong companion.
For most, it tends to be an uncomfortable feeling suggesting risk in
near and potentially unmanageable. For
this reason, anxiety can turn into real panic and can render a person feeling
powerless.
Believe it or not, anxiety in its’ basic form serves a
positive function, as do all emotions.
Anxiety is your sympathetic nervous system sounding an alarm that danger
is present. This creates a “flight or
fight” response. When this alarm system
gets triggered, your brain creates “circuitry” to tag situational related events
to give you an early warning system the next time a similar threat is
present. This is where problematic anxiety
can set its’ roots – if you experience an adrenaline charged alarm while
engaging in an ordinary event (like driving your car in snow), you can misperceive
the benign experience as a dire threat to your safety and well-being (alas,
developing a fear of driving in winter).
When you respond to these false alarms by reacting as if it is real (by
flight: avoiding; or by fight: over-reacting), you can deepen your fear
response and a reoccurring anxiety reaction can result.
Compassion and self-compassion are of primary importance
as distress dominates, and sometimes shame can develop as self-criticism and a
misconception of weakness can occur.
Here are some beginning ideas to help begin to “soften” the anxiety experience.
First, look for the beginning signs of stress or anxiety;
for example: a worried thought, a quickened heart beat, or butterflies in the
stomach. Label it as what it is: the
anxiety response. Begin right away with “turning down the alarm system” by
practicing relaxation and calming. Take
deep belly breaths. Use positive, reassuring,
calming self-talk, such as “relax…. I can handle this”. This first step is
important: when you calm yourself and self-soothe, you are activating your
parasympathetic nervous system which is a “rescue” system that restores a calm
physical state. In other words, you remind yourself that you can handle the
experience of the moment, as well as the actual situation.
Anxiety-ridden moments can be ferocious, especially when they
have been reinforced by avoidance or over-reaction. To be able to thwart these
moments, you need to build up the “muscles” of your relaxation response. Practicing deep breathing and relaxed
feelings daily, especially when you are not
triggered, will help you build and access this helpful “circuitry” when you
need it most. It is also helpful to recognize and change any thoughts or
beliefs related to your anxiety reaction, especially thoughts that reduce your
sense of safety or control. Instead of
believing “I can’t drive in the snow”, reframe the thought: “I am scared, but
can breathe into my real strengths. I can handle this”. Practice thoughts that
include patience, self-compassion, forgiveness, and self-empowerment, such as
“I can acknowledge my anxiety, and have compassion for my fear. I am more than one feeling/experience. I have real strengths I can bring to the
situation. I can ask for help,
understanding, and support. I am safe.”
Also, develop routines of self-care to increase general
health and well-being. Exercise and
healthy eating help to release pent-up energy and frustrations, and physically
build up inner strength, hardiness, and self-worth. Practices of meditation, mindfulness, and
prayer help settle the mind and connect to a higher source or the bigger
picture.
Once you feel calmer, you can more readily access the
problem-solving frontal lobe area of the brain.
At this point, you can address situations in their real form and develop
a strategy plan. Problems are more
solvable or navigable if you can calm your anxiety, take things
a-step-at-a-time, implement strategy plans and practice self care and
self-compassion.
