Bully Free Beverly Initiative: ‘I Am an Upstander’

By Lisa Catania, LCSW

What has been your experience with bullying?  Do you have memories of it from the past?  Do you see it someplace in your life today?

Many people think of bullying as physical threats, harassment and even physical provoking and beating.  Bullying is also about gossiping, excluding others, judgment and social punishment. Betrayal of trust, such as someone sharing communications or texts without approval, especially in a mocking or vindictive way is another form of bullying.

There are many ways an individual can feel hurt in social situations.  The experience of inflicting pain by lauding power in insensitive and hurtful ways is at the core of bullying.  Put simply, bullying is the physical, social and/or emotional way someone exerts power over another individual, usually causing pain and fear.

The classic bullying dynamic includes the target or victim (usually an individual who has been isolated), the perpetrators (an individual or group), and the bystanders (individuals who are aware of wrongdoing but who are scared to or don’t know how to intervene). 

Recently, a new term has been coined by bully prevention advocates:  “the upstander.” 

“An upstander is a person who goes against the tide and will protect a victim from injustice,” said Taura Hampton from EdNews Parent. “The word is contrasted with bystander, which describes a person who does nothing to help when someone is being mistreated.  In the case of bullying this doesn’t necessarily mean a child needs to ‘take on the bully’ in order to be an upstander.  There are other ways students can stand up for their peers who are being bullied, such as telling a teacher or parent, or reaching out in friendship to the victim.”

Emphasis on the “upstander” has the potential to significantly disrupt bullying dynamics.  The vast majority of children or individuals who are bystanders actually have sympathy for the victim and will report knowing that the bullying is wrong, however they often don’t act out of fear of retribution.  When individuals become empowered to “stand up” they shift the culture that allows injustices.  Upstanders challenge the culture of fear and dominance.  When upstanding becomes the societal norm (or when many people are willing to confront bullying behavior and support the victim),

bullying will lose its tragic vise-grip.  

A team of therapists from Beverly Therapists has renewed The Blossom Boys’ initiative, “Bully Free Beverly.” The intention is to educate the community about bullying dynamics and to provide a support network for anyone affected by bullying.  October is National Bullying Prevention Month, and Beverly Therapists invites community children and teens to submit artwork to promote “upstanding.” Upstanding includes themes like “kindness is cool,” “cultivating compassion” and “20 seconds of courage.” 

Artwork will be used to create posters and banners to hang in the community to spread the idea of “upstanding.” “I AM AN UPSTANDER” will frame the top of posters, and “BULLY FREE ZONE” will frame the bottom. Please submit your images and words on white paper, and please leave some blank space on the top and bottom.  We are eager to see the originality, inspirational wisdom, and gentle strength that is out there in our community!

 Artwork should be submitted by Oct. 31 to Lisa Catania, Beverly Therapists, 10725 South Western, 2nd Floor or sent as a .pdf, .ai, .psd or .jpeg to Beverly-therapists@comcast.net .  For more information on upstanding and artwork submissions, and to be part of the “Bully Free Beverly” community, visit us at the “Bully Free Beverly” facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/BullyFreeBeverly.

Contact anyone one of us if you have questions,

BULLY FREE BEVERLY TEAM
Lisa Catania, LCSW  773.719.1751
Jennifer Lara, LCPC  773.251.8016
Michelle Wood, LCSW  773.307.8365